Saturday, April 19, 2008

Treasuring Friendship

Greetings. Unlike regular mornings, I woke up without an alarm clock that Sunday morning. Grateful for a good sleep, I rolled over to reach my phone on the bedside. My Sunday morning ritual was about to start, making calls to my love ones far away from where I am, when I realized that my calf was a bit sore. It must be the high heel from the night before.

Yes, I had a good time going out with my dear friend who's visiting from Bali, and four other friends that night. All six of us went to a nice bistro in the neighborhood where the owner and waiter is also a friend. It's always nice to liven up the time with good friends, especially when one of them came so far away from home.

With good food and drinks to fuel up conversations, time was running fast and we had to rush to a theater to watch The Maids, one of Jean Genet controversial plays. Genet is a controversial person himself. In The Maids he highlighted, with his own interpretation, law and order, good and bad, gender fluidity, dominance and submissions.

It was quite an interesting and provoking play actually, although it's somewhat difficult for me to fully digest it. Well, I had to confess that I was there to celebrate my friendship, not so much to watch and enjoy the play.

My friend from Bali and I have been in contact since early 90's. We shared the same office building, while working for different companies. Over the years our friendship has grown and become stronger. No matter what happen around us, we keep contacting each other, exchanging ideas, nurturing our friendship, and most importantly we are always there for each other.

There are certainly people that I have known much longer than her, but they do not have that strong tie to me. The length of a friendship is seemingly not something that defines the beauty of the relationship. It is the quality that matter. Distance does not really matter, especially nowadays, as we can always communicate when we need to, either by phone, text message, email, YM or all of them.

When I look back, I probably know a lot of people, but there are no more than a number of people who will drop everything in the world for me, and at the same time I am also willing to do the same for them. A dear friend who recently passed away, was one of them. On his death bed, he arranged not to inform me on his death until his body was ready to be lowered, despite the fact that he spent almost the whole last 3 days of his life to chat with me (with plenty of hint that he is going...). He did not want me to fly and visit him, because I was just off my heart monitor and was not advised to fly. That's how unselfish he was...

Names started flashing in my mind, including those who've gone already. Friends come and go naturally, and it's no one fault, because we evolve and not everyone evolves at the same pace and directions with us.

Then I think of my new friend, so new that I have not even seen him in person. Not only that he gave me full support and confidence to start my initial writing, but he had also walked me through the steps to start a new thing, blogging.

When someone out there is ready to enrich you, reach out for you, laugh with you, cry with you, assure you, comfort you, broaden your horizon, sometime as simple as listen to your grunts, that is when he or she becomes your friend, and you will seek the opportunity to reciprocate as much as you have received, even more.

Friendship needs to be nurtured over time, and one need to cherish the treasure. Life is short, and one may cross path with us no more than once during our lifetime. Take action before they're gone.


  1. Sometimes we take it for granted how important friend or even our colleagues in the office. In fact, we spend most of my time with them compare to our spouses. Let's count the hours between both of them ...

  2. @sboentaran: welcome to the blogosphere dear, and thanks a bunch for sharing words of wisdom with us. It's quite meaningful as it came from your own experience. You've been practicing what you wrote for years....

  3. Speaking of friendship... i just lost my dear dear friend 3 days ago... and i still can't forget him and definitely effects my mood to do all my works... i can't express how i'm gonna miss him... but thanks to other friend of mine, he send me this...

    1) "Make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold"

    2) "Make new friends, both young and old, one in Silver, the other Gold."

    3) "Make new friends but keep the old, some are silver and others are Gold"

    4}"I have a hand, and you have another; put them together and we have each other."

    "Strangers are just friends waiting to happen"

    I know i'll find a new one, although no one will ever replaced him in my heart. But, for you Mr.aroengbinang, many many thanks for posting this treasuring friendship this means a lot to me

    Chronicles of Trisna

  4. You are definitely right. I just lost a brother and it really makes me think that I haven't done anything meaningful to this human race. Well not enough! I probably set it too high but you are right that we at least have to nurture our friends and relatives

  5. cewektulen2:09 PM

    friendship bikin awet muda ya???? :p

  6. this friendship article reminds me of all of my friends who's living with their own private life without any connection again, how can i reach u all guys?? :(

  7. This makes me longing to see all my old friends I haven’t seen neither get in touch with for years. I wish I have a chance to meet & see them one day ; at least to get in touch with them again.

  8. Inspiring posting, really; first posting here, uh(?).

    It reminds me, again, to rethink my current friendship. Up to the moment I 'feel' any problems with it but your posting kind of putting me in different standing to view it. Wheww . . .!

    So, again, inspiring posting; and thanks.

  9. @aroengbinang: thanks for the opportunity to share
    @cewektulen: perhaps, but most importantly you dont feel alone
    Trisna and Nurul lost of love ones somehow strengthen us inside.
    @ming: yes this is my first....

  10. Betul teman adalah penting dalam hidup ini.Teman dapat menjadi tempat untuk mengungkapkan perasaan dan kondisi kita di saat sedih atau gembira.Great post

  11. you had a nice day. :)

  12. I am deeply touched. The friends you have, the relationship you have built with them are treasures no money can buy. What is material wealth if you have no family and friends to share it with. Life is more meaningful when you have people around you that fill you with joy, love and happiness. Great post.